


heart skipped a beat

by sonia (aquatulip)



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: M/M, Medication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2847962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquatulip/pseuds/sonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he wants to tell him how much he loves him but<br/>					the words escape his grasp like s m o k e.</p>
<p>--<br/>komaeda realizes he's in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	heart skipped a beat

**Author's Note:**

> this is for a secret santa hppy holidays !

his hands are shaking as he desperately tries to uncap his medication ; the tremors cause the contents of the bottle to tap repeatedly against the sides of the container -- a noise that annoys him, but he can only expend so much energy on one given task. thoughts of a shimmering boy with sunlight in his veins and hands that are those of a god. for him, it is hard to breathe as he struggles with the medication and his own thoughts. if only that beautiful smile could disappear for a couple minutes, then he’d be able to give his full attention over to this menial task. you aren’t usually like this, he chastises himself, but then he realizes that -- he’s never been in love before. it is terrifying. komaeda is scared of himself, of this feeling, of the boy with eyes as brilliant as the stars hanging in the sky.

when he put the pieces together and realization hit him, he inked the pages of every romance novel in deep black ; he stained his collection of poetry ; he burnt his paintings to ashes. if he put the concept of romance out onto his doorstep, then maybe he could trick himself into thinking it didn’t exist. he could tear down the concept at its foundation, and then he wouldn’t feel such euphoria around one single person.

his medication bottle does not open because the more he thinks about hinata, the shakier he gets ; in frustration, he tosses it into the bathtub and presses his back against the door. the noise he had created produced a response that is unexpected. a knock on the door, gentle, causes him to squeeze his eyes shut tightly. “you alright in there, komaeda?” hinata’s voice resounds from the other room.

the promised reply of yes dies in komaeda’s throat, so he just opts to focus on his breathing until he can manage words. “i-i’ll be right out, hinata-kun,” he says, playing it off with a light chuckle that is almost too forced. “i just knocked my medication off the sink.”

“you’ve been in there for awhile.” hinata is trying not to press too much, komaeda can tell.  
“i’ll be right out,” he bites down on his tongue until he tastes blood.  
a sigh,   
(komaeda wants to kiss hinata, to press him against the wall and f e e l him exhale into his mouth)  
then shuffling noises away from the door, “alright, alright.”

immediately, he goes to retrieve his medication and fumbles with the cap again. his hands are still shaking, but he manages to open the container. all the pills clatter to the floor and there is hinata again. “komaeda?”

silence.

 “i told you that i’ll be right out!”                              

his tone is unintentionally harsh and he bites down on his tongue as he drops to the ground to start picking up the fallen pills. they all lay scattered around the room, much like his thoughts -- disjoined, separated. he wants to scream. usually he’s so composed, but this turn of events has his head and heart pounding in a sickening synchrony.

there’s a silence on hinata’s end, but komaeda knows that he’s waiting with bated breath.

          he abandons his pills (he’s too busy thinking about hinata’s fingertips sliding against the soft contour of his hips -- and his lips touching every expanse of his skin. it is enough to send him into a frenzy as his mind burns images of desire into his heart). the door opens inwards and hinata stumbles forward a step as if he had been leaning against the door before komaeda opened it. within those few seconds where komaeda is catching hinata needlessly (and his fingertips brush against his arms), the heat of his skin sears komaeda. hinata’s green eyes are caught -- transfixed.

                            _can he feel this too?_

neither of their grips lessen even though hinata should be moving away. maybe he can see the frenzy of the fire burning behind komaeda’s eyes. maybe he sees it and it  s c a r e s  him. komaeda makes an attempt at words, but all that is communicated is a choked noise. this isn’t the first time that komaeda doesn’t know the right answer, but this is one of the only moments that he monitors every thought that enters his mind and every word that slips from his mouth. all of them form an army against him -- his rational thought loses to the sudden impulsive emotion that pulls him towards hinata. it is akin to the tides being pulled by the atmosphere of the sun. the sun always has its influence within the universe and komaeda is burning in the presence of the sun. hinata is brilliant -- shimmering -- _shining_.

hinata hajime shines as brightly as the sun -- perhaps even brighter.

                                 and komaeda is in love with not only his rays,  
but also his abundance,  
             and the beauty and the mystery.

and komaeda knows from astronomy lessons that there are neutrinos bouncing around within hinata, so the sun resides within him and he wants to pull the sunlight from his lungs and taint him with stardust as he leaves craters in his skin from his fingertips.

                          they are still staring at one another  
                          eternities have passed between them  
                          komaeda is so in love with hinata.

“you okay?” hinata asks,  
and komaeda thinks he sounds breathless, but he cannot be sure.

          instead of answering, komaeda ducks his head and with his lips hovering over hinata’s own, he whispers “ _can i kiss you_?” and waits while hinata’s lips quiver delicately, the slightest inclination occurs and komaeda can see the stardust swirling behind his eyelids. the way he kisses hinata is gentle, which isn’t fitting for hinata, but it fits so well between them. it almost feels as though they aren’t kissing -- it is so _delicate_.

komaeda feels as though he’s about to shatter, so he pulls away, but hinata catches his wrist.  
              “where are you going?” he asks, and there’s a desperation in his tone.  
                          komaeda lifts an eyebrow and opens his mouth to respond to the question.

before he can speak, hinata is there -- hinata is there and pressing his lips against komaeda’s fervently. he’s kissing komaeda as though this is his only way to communicate his feelings as his emotions drip from his lips and poison komaeda’s bloodstream. he kisses him again and again until komaeda’s lips are bruised and he’s melting in his hands as supernovas burst behind his eyelids. hinata is burning him -- searing deep and marring his skin as he drags his fingers over the ash he produces until they are painted as black as the pages that komaeda had inked.

                          but this is of passion,  
                          and komaeda may be burning,  
                          but the sun is crowning him

                                                                                                                                  and hinata says,  
                                                                                                                                           “you’re mine, you’re mine, you’re _mine_.”


End file.
